Are You Blue?

Are You a Feminist? Of Course You Are

(Photo credit : MariNaomi via The Rumpus)

I saw this a few days ago and something just clicked in me. Like something i've known all along -but has somehow been confused by the staggering amount of texts with differing opinions on the subject- has finally been brought to light and confirmed.

I am a feminist. Of course. How can I not be?

I think the confusion, particularly here in the Philippines, stems from a basic  misunderstanding of what it means to be feminist. The word is still highly associated with activism, wherein only feminist activists (meaning those who actively take up the cause of feminism by protesting or taking it to the streets) end up being the only ones seen to be truly feminists.

This residual belief from the first wave of the feminist movement back in the '70s, where activism was necessary to advance the cause of feminism, is still much needed today, but along with that, also has the tendency to alienate other women (i'm not even going to begin talking about the men who support the movement), who are already part of a generation reaping the benefits of that early movement, making them feel like they are not part of the cause just because they are not so-called activists.

It also doesn't help that even among feminists there's so much contrasting or dissenting opinions on what it means to be a woman. It's like we fought to have the freedom to be anything we want and yet after we have it we're looking for ways to box or to tie ourselves to a particular identity or to a particular type of woman.

I remember a lot of instances in college where I or other females, in a casual conversation, would say something along the lines of "I don't like guys carrying my stuff for me, hello, I have hands" or "I want to cut my hair short and not look girly girly" and immediately be answered by a chorus of "ano ka peminista?" (what are you, a feminist?) like it's a shameful thing to aspire to become or something. These examples are superficial, but then it also just shows how equally superficial most people's understanding of what being feminist is.

To this I seek the words of Caitlin Moran, from her book 'How to be a Woman'.

Because the purpose of feminism isn't to make a particular type of woman. The idea that there are inherently wrong and inherently right 'types' of women is what's screwed feminism for so long ... What is feminism? Simply the belief that women should be as free as men, however nuts, dim, deluded, badly dressed, fat, receding, lazy, and smug they might be. Are you a feminist? Hahaha. Of course you are. 

So if you ever find asking yourself if you're a feminist, just call this question to mind, "Do I want to have the same freedoms and rights as men do?". Regardless of how you want to practice those freedoms, whether in a sharp business suit with matching perfectly coiffed hair or in a skimpy number with loose, sexy waves, if you answered yes and if you live a life that speaks of those ideals and beliefs, then yes, you are a feminist.  

Live it. Own it.

in matters of life and writing, it's all about the journey and not the destination

(Photo credit : Ryan Pfluger for TIME)

You have to know as a writer the difference between how you consider yourself publicly and the way you must continue to only consider yourself a lowly practitioner. Every new page you start, you are a beginner. And I am writing everyday to challenge myself, to make myself better and stronger. You never see a great wrestler who doesn't drill, who stops fanatically practicing his best shot. My old coach used to say that if you were in it for the match, if you were in it for the trophies, you were in it for the wrong reasons. If you presume to love something, you must love the process of it much more than you love the finished product.

(John Irving)

'Girls' Keeping it Real : On Break-ups

(photo credit : TheVoiceofTV)

 

Short background: HBO's Girls is currently at the top of my tv list. At first I admit it was too much too soon for me -you know, too much butt too soon, too much of my life in there too soon- but heck, when was it ever wrong to just be real? And that's basically all you need to know (for know) on why I think Lena Dunham gets this generation better than most writers out there, and why I now have a serious backlog (though not regrettably) on my other shows (well hello New Girl :P). Something tells me this will not be my last "Girls" related post, just a heads up.


Let's jump to episode 8 : Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too, where we find, among other events, Marnie trying to deal with the aftermath of her break-up with Charlie. Which she initiated by the way, but somehow explodes on her face when she bumps into Charlie at a party, with a new girl. Ouch.

Marnie ear-jacking some stranger on her romantic woes (photo credit : Glamour)

I have my two cents to share on that, but I thought it would be better coming from the girl who plays Marnie herself, Allison Williams.

HBO This episode begins with Marnie in a bit of a funk. How is she coping with her break-up with Charlie?

Allison Williams It's tough for her. She's not only dealing with the change of no longer dating him, but also the change of no longer being in a relationship. Then she's also dealing with Charlie having moved on so quickly, and with someone with whom he travels and sees the world. In the pilot, Jessa makes Marnie feel uncultured for not wanting to travel, so Marnie says, "We should just go somewhere," but you can tell that's not really how she's wired. So the fact that he's found someone that embodies that adventurous spirit that Marnie yearns to have makes it hurt all that much more. But also, it's just painful for her to see a face next to his in all these pictures in the place where hers used to be.

HBO Do you think this is a fairly typical response to a modern break-up?

Allison Williams It's a normal thing for people to do, going on Facebook and seeing pictures of their exes with their new significant others. It's a relatable moment in the process of getting over someone and also a very current one. It probably used to be easier to get over a relationship when you couldn't look at pictures of them with their new girlfriend or boyfriend. Now, you hear about people deleting each other from Facebook and their phones. But mostly, she's so sad, it breaks my heart.

HBO Is this the first time she's felt so rejected?

Allison Williams Well, I think she rejected him. She just feels that she was too easily replaceable. Nobody wants to feel that way. Everyone wants to feel like they were the one and only person that the other person could ever fall in love with. Obviously, that's not the case, but it's a harsh realization for her to have.

Oh, so much relatable-ness. We need to make that a word. Way better than relatability.

Read the rest here : HBO Girls: Interview with Allison Williams (01x08 Weirdos Need Girlfriends Too)

How do you see the world?

When you study an art form, you're really training yourself how to look. But this learning how to look extends into all the other different types of media. People in photography, they start obsessing about light and shadows and how this or that falls. And it is the same thing about people who study motion capture animation; they see the world in terms of movement, in terms of biomechanics.

Nateon Ajello (motion capture director, Mixamo)

Let This Be Your Story

(Photo Credit : AAKnopf)

They say we are what we tell ourselves we are. Such is the power of words. Especially the ones that we allow to speak to us and shape our minds.

Words have the power to bless or curse, to destroy and heal. Even the greatest teachers to ever have walked this earth acknowledged this truth.

However, though we manage perfectly to watch what we say to other people, too often, we fail to apply it when speaking to ourselves.

Let me tell you a story. If you've been reading my blog for about a year or so, this may already be old and too familiar, but just bear with me. (I'll try and see if I can get you a prize. heh)

Two years ago, right about the first quarter of 2010, I was in a very bad place. I just recently got out of what I knew even back then was a horrible relationship, that against all sound reasoning and even plainer common sense, I just didn't want to let go of.

I don't remember now how or when it happened, but there was a moment when I realized that it wasn't 'love' or even what little we shared together that was holding me back. It was myself. Specifically, the things I told myself whenever I got too close to the idea of closure (or the final nail in our romance's coffin as my 23 year old self will insist).

Questions like 'what if I never feel this way again?', 'what do I have to change?' 'what did I do wrong?', 'will someone else put up with me?' plagued my bruised heart for the longest time. Questions that stemmed from the stories I told myself about how I wasn't beautiful enough, caring enough, easy enough, and how that relationship was my one shot deal at romance. Beggars can't be choosers.

I'm at a safe distance now laughing at that pool of BS, but there was a moment that I was in there, drowning. I was paralyzed.

And that my friends is the anatomy of fear and I'd bet anyone that if you dissect the inner workings of your own fears you will find the limiting words you tell yourself right at the heart of it.
 
Luckily for us, our stories don't have to end there. The power of words to bless and build is also available to us.We just have to learn how to harness it. How? By choosing to tell ourselves a different story.

With that, I'll be the first to say that it won't be easy. Of course. Our fears didn't grow into monsters overnight, they grew from the seeds of doubt that we feed our hearts day in and day out. It's the same with building yourself up. You have to put in the work every single time. But trust me, there will come a day when it will come naturally to you, it will no longer feel like such a monumental effort.

Actually, why not start it now? Make that commitment to tell yourself a different story, beginning with these affirmations.

I am beautiful.
I am capable.
I am loved.
I can love.
I am enough.
I am worthy.

Go on. Try it. Let this be your story.

Against the Flow

(Source: Night Owl on Tumblr)

What a fortunate, wonderful person he/she must be, who, upon realizing that he/she is different from everyone else doesn't cower in fear or submit to the pressure to blend in, but rather, celebrates it.

Something to think about when someone sets you off

(via jkhgfdcutiuhye)

It definitely changes things, doesn't it?

This is one of the reasons why I read

(via K.Cakes.)

It isn't ugly in my mind after all

(Source: imgfave)

These words have always spoken to me since the first time I read it, and now I post it because i've come to realize that the words are not ugly in my mind after all. But once they escape my lips, they feel rusty and old - even dirty. Perhaps of being hidden too much and of being played over and over again in my mind, but of never really being heard. Rusty and old and dirty - my own words scare me. So let's just say that these are my own words, voiced out by the young protagonist and that you, you are its object and let's leave it at that.

What I Talk About When I Talk About Leaving

(Source : weheartit)

When I say I miss LB and especially when I say I want to leave home and live by myself, I am not necessarily saying that I miss LB and that I do not want to live at home.

It's me saying that i'm not sure if this is where I want to be right now. It's me saying that my heart is aching for what it is sure is out there for me.

I'm saying that i'm already 24 and the last thing I need is to be safe and happy right in the comforts of my home. I'm saying that I need to be out there grinding and toughing it out like people with big dreams do.

I am saying that I want to make decisions for myself without having to be bound by the guilt of having parents and family being responsible for my mistakes and being hurt because they are thinking about what's best for me. I am saying that I want to have the freedom to do things at my own time and my own way without having to tiptoe around other people's feelings and without having to let them do the same.

I'm saying that I want to give myself the chance to work hard for something, to sweat it out, to fuck up if that's the only way to grow and learn. I'm saying that I want to see how far I can stretch myself without having to worry or freak out the people who care for me.

I'm saying that I want to live out my own beliefs without having to make others feel that I am disregarding theirs. I am saying that I want to spend a big chunk of myself and my time on things that I love and that matter to me - things and people other than my family or friends - without making them feel neglected.

I'm saying that I want to run away from everything that I am right now, from everything that I know because I am hoping that somewhere along the way I will find that this girl who's so bent on running away has now found all of the reasons to stay.

What You Should've Known Back Then

(Source: A Beautiful Revolution)

Oh well, at least now you finally do.

Chasing Moments

 (photo credit: bogenfreund on Flickr)

You cannot perform in a manner that is inconsistent with the way you see yourself.

(Zig Ziglar)

Moments of inspiration. Moments of productivity. I need more consistency in my life. I don't want to be remembered as a mere spark or as someone who had the potential. Someone who could've been, but wasn't quite there. Someone who could have tried a little harder. Someone who didn't dare to dream - and who didn't dream big enough at that.

The sands of time are slipping past my fingers; I can try to hold on to moments or I can choose to be in the moment and be the moment.

I am 'inspiration'.
I am 'productivity'.


Let's get this show rollin',  April.

The Damsel and Her Distress

You can't save the damsel if she loves her distress. 

Or as i'd rather say it, ladies be careful not to fall in love with your distress just because it brings the prince out of the boy.

 

On Routine

I'm being reminded again of an insight from a few months back. I need this especially now when i'm feeling impatient because of the thought that everyone else is moving ahead in their lives and with their careers, while i'm stuck doing the same things.  I don't have to be like everyone else and go down the same path that everyone else is taking. This is where I am right now, these are the experiences I need in my life at the moment. I rest my hope in Christ on whom all things find their meaning.

On my way to that "I'm CEO, Bitch" moment

Five things I got from watching The Social Network:

1) Use your pain as fuel to get to your dreams.
2) Work with your genius.
3) Jim Jarmusch was right when he said nothing is original, so we should steal from anywhere that fuels our imagination. It doesn't matter where we get the idea, what matters is where we take it to.
4) Blog away if you will, but remember the internet isn't written in pencil - it's written in ink.
5) You're not an asshole, stop trying so hard to be one. Word.

Trust His Heart

Forget the former things;

 do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43: 18-19

Moments of personal conflict, isolation, lack of favor, drudgery - these are a few of life's deserts. These are times when nothing seems to be going right making one think God does not care. But our walks in the desert are exactly the moments God uses to bring us to Himself. These are the times when He takes us away from all the distractions so we can hear Him loud and clear. 

We possess a stubborn heart. No ones knows that all too well than God. The desert takes us away from all the distractions, it is the place where our personal idols are revealed and removed. If we are ever going to accomplish His work through us, a season in the desert provides us with the preparation that we need.

The great men of the Bible went through their periods in the desert. It was 40 years for Moses, 13 years in Egypt for Joseph, and three years in Arabia for Paul. These men found a deeper sense of the grace of God in the desert. 

It may seem like it's taking too long. Hold on to His word. Hold on to who He is. 

In the desert, God is making a new thing out of us. And even as we are lost in its vastness, He is paving the way. 

Know that the same God who led you into the desert will lead you out.

Trust His heart.

For the Days When I Just Want to Sleep Through Life

"Oh shut up. Everytime it rains, it stops. Everytime you hurt, you heal. After darkness there's always light and you get reminded of this every morning, but still you choose to believe that the night will last forever. Nothing lasts forever. Not the good nor the bad..."

via I Wrote this for You

(Photo Credit : Zen on Flickr)