Note to Self

This is your greatest tragedy. That there's so much about other people's lives that you assume, thinking how fantastic and awesome their lives are in comparison to yours when in reality, their joys and hangups are no different, and sometimes to your surprise they may even have it worse; with the sole difference being that they don't think much about anyone else's life other than their own and those dearest to them thus freeing them from the unfortunate comparison that you constantly subject yourself to - thinking you are deprived, feeling you are inadequate. 

The tragedy is in the fact that while you pore over their lives the details of your own are being swept away; that as you mull over the finer points of their existence yours increasingly becomes paler in comparison regardless of how contrary that is to the fact; and perhaps worse of all, that as you covet and obsess over what they have the you that is the only one here in the world and that is capable of infinitely more than you wish to accept is slowly being engulfed in the darkness of the self pity and self doubt until such a time when you look in the mirror and realize that all that's looking back at you is a shell - a shell of someone who you used to be, but who you no longer recognize.

That is your tragedy so far and it comes at an increasing cost until you find a way to divert your mind from them to you. Be mindful however that the point here is not that you should rather think about their misfortunes nor that you hope for it, but simply, that you do not think of them at all.